I didn’t used to have any. When I was fat before my weight loss surgery my style consisted of things that were comfortable and things that fit. Now that I have lost 160 lbs, I have to actually make decisions because there are CHOICES in clothing I never had before.

Style is no longer about finding enough fabric to drape over my body to HIDE what I don’t like, but rather refocusing myself and trying to find things that ACCENT the good things about my body. Of course this means I have to play a little mind game with myself and really recognize what I like in the mirror. This assumes that what I see in the mirror is REAL and not some fkdup body image from days long past. I’m finding that I still try to define what looks good based on my old perceptions and the only way to break out of those perceptions is to actually go through the work of trying things on. I didn’t try on many clothes when I was I fat.

I do love to spend money, but I am not a good shopper. Trying things on isn’t something I am used to, because I was so fat before and nothing fit so I didn’t ever try things on. I just ordered stuff online and prayed for the best. Not to mention trying things on took too much energy with so little reward at the end. Most stores didn’t carry sizes for me anyway… easier to order from specialty shops. Now I can go to skinny girl stores like JJill, and the choices are OVERWHELMING!

So here are examples of things I am having to redefine with regards to style:

Shoes: I used to only have two pairs and they were always ones that orthodics would fit in because my feet hurt all the time. Now I need to go find cute little strappy shoes that the thin girls always used to wear.
Skirts: I always had nice legs, even when I was fat, but I didn’t wear many skirts because of two reasons:
1. I hated trying to find pantyhose that would fit my 300 lb plus 6 foot frame.
2. Shoes. See above.
Dresses: See Skirts. Never went out much either… didn’t do church… so no dresses.
Elastic Waist pants: Most comfortable.
Jeans that had stretch in them: I still like these best. I bought some custom jeans from Land’s End that I love, but dang I wish they had some lycra in them! I mean now that my waist measurements start with a 3, I still appreciate COMFORT and FUNCTION.
High waisted vs. Low waisted pants: Before my tummy tuck, I always needed and liked high waisted pants to help fit over the big flap of fat i had. Now that I have had my tummy tuck, I need to buy low rise stuff. Otherwise, all that extra material tends to move down and make the crotch of pants show up between my knees. But i still REACH for the high waisted stuff. Old habits die hard.
Form Fitting shirts: I used to wear long flowly stuff that went over my hips. Now I dont have to do that. In fact, stuff that doesn’t flow over my hips looks better then stuff that goes to my thighs. This of course requires the skill of being able to look at oneself and recognize what looks ‘good’ vs. what just looks ‘ok’ and prioritize that higher then personal comfort. Will I ever be able to do that?

Well it’s a beautiful sunny day in Seattle so I am going to close this for now. Im sure I’ll revisit it later as I progress through trying to figure out my new style for my new body.

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