My sister and I were talking today about obligations. She was telling me about her SIL who was hurt she wasn’t invited to a mutual friend’s christening. This mutual friend is a close friend of my sister and her husband…. But only a casual acquaintance/friend of the SIL. My sister and her husband didn’t even want to have to travel to the christening… but felt “obligated” to go. My sister couldn’t understand why her SIL was hurt. She wished she wasn’t invited to the thing and here was her SIL sad she wasn’t invited. She actually said the words “Do you think they hate me?”

My family is pretty screwed up when it comes to social stuff. We tend to be on the antisocial side of things. But even this hit me as dysfunctional. Why is it that we see sharing these special moments with friends as more obligation then joy?

Do other’s really live for going to this stuff? Do people feel slighted when they aren’t invited to a baby shower, a christening, bar mitzvah? Or do you feel relief that you don’t have to go make small talk with a bunch a strangers that you have to pretend to like? And hey and as a plus, sometimes you don’t have to buy a gift.

How do most people feel about these things? Are only social butterflies miffed at the no invite? Or are we alone in our dysfunction? Help me define normal here.

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