Yesterday was a weird day. I didn’t expect to get the call during the day. I thought people always died of terminal illnesses in the early morning hours? I had spent the last handful of nights up at 3 am looking at the clock, thinking about how it was 6am on the east coast and maybe Grandpa was dying then. Then he had to go and die at 5:09 PM EDT. Go figure. Guy always kept me guessing.

We were on our way out to Build-A-Bear. The kids had gotten Build-A-Bear bucks in the Easter Baskets. My kids are ape-shit for this place. What a great racket they have. Sorry I digress. Anyway we went on Easter Sunday but they were closed. So we told them we’d go build their bears on Monday. Well wouldn’t ya know I go the call about grandpa right when we were walking out the door? Life goes on right?

It’s funny because I guess I was sort of in shock. It’s not like I burst into tears or anything. My mom was crying on the phone and it was a fast conversation. People in our family don’t do the warm and fuzzy stuff too well. So mom told me to call my youngest sister. She would call my middle sister, who was closest to Grandpa, and actually flew down to visit the day before, and tell her herself. I guess she scored higher on the need-o-meter then Meredith, the youngest. Poor kid got to hear it on her voicemail third hand from me. Life goes on.

So we went to Build-a-Bear and it was the weirdest thing. All the cars kept driving along. People were shopping in the malls. Mothers were pushing their babies in strollers. The sun was out. The world kept going. Yet, it felt like everyone should stop for just a moment and realize that he’s GONE. I felt like it at least deserved one of those round 180 camera angles like in the Gap Ad…where everyone is frozen and you can see things from a different perspective. But no… everything just kept moving. Life goes on.

That has been the weirdest feeling for me. Is this what it’s like when you lose someone close to you? Shouldn’t I be feeling something more then like I am walking around in quicksand? Guess not cause life goes on.

We told the kids at dinner. It was an interesting conversation. Dinara was immediately concerned about Grandma M and asked if she was ok. Emma picked up on that and asked if Gramma M was older or younger then Grandpa M. Then she asked if we were still going to Florida next week. And Noah exclaimed with innocence and utter oblivion: I’ll get to go swimming with Grandma! (my mom). Because lets face it, swimming with Grandma is pretty cool. And that was it.

And life goes on.

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