Im upstairs in my room packing for Florida and I hear some whispering.
Then I hear Noah loudly exclaim: I am not a dumb ass Emma!

So I go to the balcony, like a judge on high, and yell down to the living room for Noah and Emma to join me. They look up at me from the base of the stairs.

Emma (a bit too quickly) “I didn’t do anything mom it was Noah!”
Me: Please wait to defend yourself till I state the charges.
Emma: (eyes cast downward) Ok
Me: Emma, did you call your brother a dumb ass?
Emma: “No”.
She, at the tender age of just turned seven has already learned that in parental court, you answer only the question and do not provide additional information.
Noah is quiet. Waiting for the judge to give him his day in court.
Me: Noah did Emma call you a dumb ass?
Noah: Yes mom. She sure did.
Me: Emma. I believe Noah. Because he wouldn’t have screamed “Don’t call me a dumb ass Emma” for no reason. Just because you muttered under your breath, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Here’s your last chance Emma. Tell the truth or face additional consequences for lying.
Emma: Ok I said it.
Me: Thanks for telling the truth. Emma “dumb ass” are adult words. You are not allowed to use that language. If you do it again, you’ll get a consequence. Im letting you off with a warning.
Emma: Ok mom.
Me: Noah, do not use the words dumb ass. It’s not nice.
Noah: You are right mom. (glaring at Emma) YOU ARE NOT NICE EMMA!

And thus starts my day as witness, judge and jury and laughing mom.

This case is now closed. Names have not been changed to protect the innocent. Not valid unless you are present to win.

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