underneath my VP area. We got off to a bad start at the beginning of the year. Without going into the whole saga, let’s just leave it that her behavior was inappropriate. And involved choice words. And loud voices. And me reminding her that I was a volunteer too and wasn’t being paid to put up with being treated in this manner. It was not fun. Since that time, I have made huge efforts to try to be “nice. And I have seen fruits of this labor. Things are much better between us and not as strained. But let’s be honest. We both haven’t forgotten the beginning of the year.

Well here we are again with another issue. Last night before my date night, she called and for 30 minutes, in a much more civil manner, went on about honesty, being appreciated, being sabotaged, etc. She feels like whenever someone doesn’t agree with something it’s personal and she feels unsupported. I listened. I validated and truthfully, I just didn’t get into it with her. I presented different points of view, but I didn’t go back and needle down and correct flawed points in her idea of history. Slap the sticker on my forhead: I’m weary.

I think I am losing my touch.

When I was working, I didn’t mind confrontation. In fact, I’d go so far as to say I thrived on it. Problem needed solving? People disagreed? I loved trying to figure out a solution. Office politics? I was a master. People came to me for advice. Now… not so much. Now I just want everyone to play nice and not hate my guts. What the hell is happening to me? Is this a stay at home mommy syndrome? Am I going soft?

Although I am glad that our little conversation didn’t escalate, I didn’t communicate the things that I needed to. Why? Because well, I just didn’t feel like dealing. She’d get pissed and I just don’t want to put in the effort to smooth it all over. Yes that’s my job. I know that. That’s why I feel a bit guilty. Is putting this off and seeing if it will resolve on it’s own mean I’m a slacker?

Actually this whole mess is made worse because I really try to avoid confrontations period. But by not having confrontations…. She is still living in the fantasy world that her way of thinking is right. And history has shown, that I have to spell out every little detail with her, and not leave any conclusions to come to using intuition or perception. Cause that just isn’t her strength.

There is a chance that this issue will resolve itself over the next week. That she’ll still live with the wrong idea of history and not like me much…but I wont have to get into it with her and life will go on. It’s only a few more months. What do I care if her perception of history is off?

So now I must decide… do I just let it go? Or do I call her this week and delve back into it. Part of me thinks that time may work this out. That confrontation may bring about a quicker resolution, but at a higher price. So maybe I am not going soft after all. Maybe maturity is just teaching me a thing or two about the cost of instant gratification.

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