Wed 22 Jun 2005
The Lessons of Chores
Posted by Kym under Family
My first project for summer is to figure out how we are going to teach my children about chores. I will be very honest that I have been a bit of slacker in this department. Because really, let’s be honest… I am all about efficiency. And having kids do anything isn’t very efficient. It’s simply easier to do it myself. But I now realize that I need to shift my priorities a bit and not define the success based on how well the job is done but rather that my kids have learned to do the job, to do so with proper focus, that they realize that there are all these jobs to do be done in a family and there’s no magic fairy that does them all, and they learn some responsibility.
So now I am trying to figure out what chores are appropriate for an 8 year old, 6 year old and 5 year old. I’d like to have something that they do everyday. Obviously, keeping their room clean. This is a challenge for the girls. And the question in my mind is how often do I make them do it? And do they have to do it together? Do I really want to add “cooperation” into the lesson mix? In the past, we have tried it two different ways. One-way was to have each girl clean her own stuff. Well that doesn’t work very well because invariably there is stuff no one claims. Then we’ve tried each of them taking a week. Which works ok but usually one kid gets it when its REALLY bad and the other one gets it when it’s really good cause the maid comes every other week. Perhaps I need to tell the maid to not dust and vacuum in there anymore. Hmmm. Anyway… anyone with older kids who share a room want to give me the scoop on how you do this? And do people make their kids do it every week? What does it entail? I do not want to just have them “pick things up”. I want them to actually learn to clean. You know important lessons like:
1. We dust first then we vacuum so the vacuum cleaner picks up the dust
2. Socks cannot be sucked up by the vacuum cleaner.
3. You pick things up when you dust, you don’t just dust around them.
4. Hospital corners are made like this.
5. etc.
Then there is the subject of allowance. What’s the going rate? And what are the thoughts on tying it to chores? I really want my kids to know that doing chores is just part of what you have to do to be in our family. There is no one paying me. But I also want them to learn money responsibility. And all of them, due to past tries at this, really do understand the concept of allowance and like to save money for toys and Slurpees.
And finally… what chores are appropriate for a five year old? I’m thinking he’s quite good at putting things away so I might have him distribute folded laundry. Although I have to tell ya… having a kid fold laundry would also be so awesome because I hate that job! LOL! Hmmm. Benefits to me are appealing and inspiring. Perhaps this is an idea I could really get behind. I guess I’m mostly concerned they wouldn’t keep up because laundry isn’t done on a “schedule”. I’ll have to think about it.
Ok so feel free to post me your tips and comments on how you do this in your house…. All advice appreciated!
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June 22nd, 2005 at 11:05 am
I’ve been giving some recent consideration to the allowance thing, myself. No answers yet.
My 5-year-old is actually pretty good at matching/balling socks.
He can also clear the table (I do not let him put dishes in the dishwasher yet) or set it. He’s a great sorter of various things, though I think that’s his anal personality. LOL!
June 22nd, 2005 at 11:08 am
Well, we do the chore thing here. I feel like it is survival with so many kids, you know? And they really can HELP me. We haven’t introduced allowance yet, but it is on the horizon…so I have no advice there.
As for what they do…they clean their rooms with my guidance. The older boys share a room, and they help each other clean up every time, no matter whose exact stuff it is on the floor. Everyone pitches in and I coach them “pick up the legos now….all legos in the green bucket…GO!” tee hee There is usually counting and racing involved…they seem to do much better that way. I go in and help the three year old by saying “there are the potato head things…where is the barn for them? put them all in there” It is tedious at best…but I know, like you, that it is important to teach them how to pick up a room.
We have a dusting competition every Friday morning…everyone but the baby gets a rag with the spray on it and I set the timer. The kid with the dirtiest rag at the end of the time gets a prize (the others get a prize of less magnitude for doing their part too).
The 7 year old switches laundry. He brings me the dry stuff and puts the wet stuff into the dryer for me. I still have to start the washer and put stuff in, but he is quickly learning that too. It is SO helpful to be able to say “Go switch the laundry for me”…amazing how much easier that makes my life! HA And he is learning a skill too!
What can Noah do? I would say he can dust…sweep…pick up all the papers…organize the book area…sort out the markers/pens/pencils…whatever your style of life brings up. I know if you keep “what can my 5 year old do” in mind for a week, you will find lots of little things.
Oh…and the two older ones can empty the dishwasher too…just started that one…NICE! They still can’t load well, but we will gain that skill in the next year or two.
Happy cleaning!
June 22nd, 2005 at 11:26 am
I haven’t really thought of it in the terms of “chores” but my kids do help out around the house. They pick up their rooms, usually weekly and together. That task goes smoothly as most of their toys are in the toy room (a whole ‘nother not pretty story). They get a kick out of “flattening their sheets” (making the beds) and usually do it on their own. It’s not hospital corners but it’s a good start.
Zach sets the table at mealtimes. Em and Ally keep the coloring/craft stuff tidy. Kyle and Kelly help me fold towels (they do the “little towels”, washclothes and hand towels). THere’s probably a few more little tasks like that I’m forgetting.
Again it isn’t much but it’s a start. Maybe in a year or two I’ll start teaching them how to actually “clean”. For now I want them to know that they live in this house, they need to help keep it tidy for everyone.
No allowances here yet, just Tooth Fairy money. Highly amusing listening to the Big 3 talk about losing teeth so they can buy something.
June 22nd, 2005 at 12:20 pm
The people I used to babysit for had age appropriate chores listed on the fridge for the kids. I had a list of those at my office when I was a therapist. If I can find a copy of it, I’ll type it out and send to you. Wait found what I used to use!
http://housekeeping.about.com/od/chorechart1/a/ageapprchores.htm
June 22nd, 2005 at 1:02 pm
I remember I had to feed the dog and cat with my mom’s supervision, carry the dishes to the kitchen sink after dinner, set the table and make my bed — plus keep all my toys put away on a daily basis.
Junior high is when I was taught how to clean, make my bed, mow the lawn, do the dishes every night, empty the dishwasher, etc. I didn’t learn how to do laundry until college (horrible, I know!) I was lucky
June 22nd, 2005 at 3:00 pm
The first chores I had was folding the basket of diapers, I was four. Being responsible for my clothes was always one of my chores, even if Mom washed I was in charge of putting away by the time I was seven or eight.
June 22nd, 2005 at 7:26 pm
My 6 year old can vacuum with the best of them as well as fold his own clothes. Given time, he can match his socks. My 4 year old tries to dust and helps put things away. She does ok (though not great) at vacuuming, but we have a canister so it’s kind of heavy. Both can feed dogs/cats/fish, which is one less thing for me to do. Other than that, their primary job is to keep their stuff clean. After that, I pay them by the job (25 cents per job depending on the size of it). If they pick up sticks outside, I pay by the wagon load.
June 23rd, 2005 at 11:28 am
All my girls put their dirty clothes in the hampers (19 months - almost 4). The older two attempt to clear their stuff from the kitchen table. I just bought everyone their own laundry baskets with the hopes that they’ll start putting their own clothes away in the next few years! I’d say they are never to early to learn.
I’ve heard allowance should be age = $ so a five year old would get $5/week.
June 24th, 2005 at 7:43 am
We actually use a great derivation of the age=allowance rule here. You start with the five dollars (using a five year old as the example here), but subtract one dollar for a charity fund, and another dollar for a savings fund.
Our local credit union even gives out savings banks that employs this model, so it’s a great visual representation - Moonpet seems to be the brand name on it.
I know - it sounds like a lot of money. BUT my kids are expected to use that money for hobbies we’ve decided not to fund (video games, obsessive Dollar Tree shopping, etc.) AND use it to buy family gifts for others (my birthday, Father’s Day, etc.) And they also have the ability to spend it not-so-wisely, on the theory that I’d rather them learn this lesson now with five dollars blown on crap and then missing out on something cool than later in life…
June 24th, 2005 at 11:06 am
I will go write a post about this. Come on over when you get a chance.
dollymama.blogspot.com
June 8th, 2006 at 7:46 am
I’m still trying to figure out the chore thing for our three and two year-olds so I appreciate all teh suggestions here. As for the allowance problem: a friend told recently that she and her husband give their kids a weekly allowance to the amount of half of their age, i.e. $3 for six year-olds, $4.50 for nine year-olds. I thought that was a great idea and my husband and I are going to try that with our kids. We want to teach them good money mgt and stewardship and I think the earlier you start the better.
Hope this helps!
August 27th, 2007 at 10:46 am
Best idea I’ve heard in a long time regarding “chores” for the kiddies: When they’re misbehaving…all too often these days…they pick a chore from the chore can. I used different color poker chips–one color for each age group with appropriate chores written on each with a Sharpie–and put them all in a coffee can. If you misbehave, you have to pick a chip. If it’s the wrong color, put it back and pick again until you pull out the right color for your age. Whatever it says is what you have to do. The kids would rather behave than “pick a chip”, but when they don’t, I get a hand in routine chores that need to be done around the house. Just to make it a bit more fun, I’ve added a “You Lucked Out” chip to the can, too. They get a free pass if that’s the one they pick first, no matter what color it may be. The usual punishments were more of a punishment to me, making them stay in their rooms or give up TV, etc. Thay would hound me until the punishment was over. Now the “punishment” is a bit more like a game, and I get help with mundane jobs around the house. Try it, you’ll love it!!