I do get some sense of pride in the way I parent my kids. I feel I do a pretty good job. I am clear, concise and consistent with directions and instructions. My kids understand consequences – both positive and negative – come as a direct result of the choices they make.

I have used bribes as part of my philosophy for as long as I remember. I believe that bribes, positive reinforcement, rewards, or whatever euphuism you want to use, is setting expectations for how real life works. As adults, we make decisions based on what we expect the outcome to be. I mean you don’t get up and haul yourself into work just because you love the atmosphere. You are there for a paycheck. And I think money is a big motivator.

I could sideline here into a big discussion on teaching your kids money management skills…but I will instead say that part of this little parenting theory has backfired. For all the good I believe that this philosophy has done, there is one negative that has come from it.

My 8 year old will not do anything without expecting some sort of payment. I mean, I can tell her to do it anyway… but she doesn’t do anything with a cheerful heart. How do you teach a cheerful heart? How can I rationalize my parenting philosophy to deal with this problem? I have created an instant gratification monster.

There must be some “switch” that gets turns on at some point. I mean I give back. I volunteer extensively, I clean, I provide and create wonderful memories for my family that are not tied to a dollar sign. Perhaps that is the key… I need to figure out a way to emotionally reward them without it being the instant gratification of monetary payment - yet just as effective as the instant gratifcation of money.

Wonder how my little crime boss will feel if I switch to hugs?

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