This morning started very early for me. I heard some jumping around downstairs and it woke me up. My mind immediately went to two things: 1. It’s Christmas Eve and the kids are going to be so excited…that must be what I’m hearing! And then 2. Oh crap! John put the toys I was wrapping last night away and then turned off all the lights while I was on the computer but left the excel spreadsheet of “who gets what” on the couch!! Because it was dark, I forgot to put it away. And all my kids are readers now…. YIKES! I swear to you, I jumped out of bed and practically ran down the stairs. Lucky for me, only Noah was up and he was jumping in the playroom. (It honestly sounded like the whole freakin’ neighborhood was in my house!) Turns out he took all the pillows off the couch and was dive-bombing into the middle of them.

So with that adrenaline rush… I was awake.

Later when Emma came down and I was telling her what happened, she was lamenting the fact that she was sorry that she didn’t get downstairs first to see the list. Which gave me an opportunity to tell her how devastated I would have been if she had found it. I told her if she had found that list, I would have cried. This surprised her I think. I went on to explain the why of it. I told her that I spend countless hours picking out the perfect toys, wrapping them, creating surprises and things that will build memories for the, decorating the house, planning a menu, doing all the shopping, making sure everyone is equal, making everything beautiful and wonderful for them. I want them to reflect on Christmases when they are adults and remember them fondly and filled with family and tradition. And although she would have had great joy at finding the forbidden list… it would have hurt my feelings to know that all my hard work was for naught. For the rest of her life she would have referred to this Christmas as “The year mom left out the list”. I would have been sad that after all my hard work, because of one little human mistake, that she wouldn’t have any surprises for Christmas. I explained to her that her joy is what excites ME about Christmas. That her childlike excitement would have been signifcantly quelled on Christmas if she didn’t have all the surprises. It would have been horrible to have that experience robbed from us.

It was a good talk. It was one of those talks I hope “sinks in” so next year when she’s searching for presents (cause you know the girl loves a challenge!) she will stop and think again about the price of snooping for gifts. But I think it’s much more likely that she will simply decide to not get CAUGHT snooping. That is how she will choose to protect her mother’s joy.

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