Tonight is a sleepover night for my eldest. I am such a sleep nazi with my kids and so not able to go with the flow on the whole playdate thing. And yet, when they are going on… it’s really no big deal. I think I just have it stuck in my head they were difficult from back when I was overwhelmed having three kids under 5. Why add another kid to the mix? My life is all about minimizing variables.

Today I ran 45 minutes. Which is no big deal really… except that I ran it outside! And on pavement, grass and on a trail! And I didn’t have a planned route! And there were hills! And I did it! I have no idea how far I ran, but I am so proud of myself. I got to the track today for my run and the soccer teams were there so I couldn’t use the track. I froze. Oh no.. what should I do? Go to the gym? Try running on the pavement? Could I? Was I ready? Would people stare at me? Well Im sure people did, but call it growth or whatever I didn’t care. I ran. And it felt good.

So now I need to invest in some raingear and a pedometer/mileage measurer thingie. Oh and gloves cause my fingers get cold when I’m running. I think I have proven myself a “runner” enough that I can go ahead and just buy all this gear. I figure I deserve it actually.

My heart rate averaged 148 so that was great. I felt really good during it. But man oh man I can feel it in my hips and thighs. I am going to hurt tomorrow. But I am all set to simply suffer through it. I know in my heart that if I can push through the next couple weeks, I will “break through” and finally be a runner who can run “anywhere”. I am looking forward to finding a nice route around my neighborhood. I live on this KILLER HILL…but I now feel like I can conquer it. Amazingly, I had trouble walking up this hill when I was fat. I now believe I could even run up it.

My dog woke up crying this morning. I am pretty sure that her syringomyelia is progressing. This means that she needs to have neurosurgery. Luckily, we have one of the premiere neurologists in the country for this disease down in Tacoma. But I am worried. The surgery isn’t a sure bet. I can’t even think about the alternative.

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