Ok. I’m back. Feeling better. Have some new things I am going to focus on in my life. Hopefully, it will give me something to blog about. Perhaps my blog will help me process the changes I hope to undertake over the coming months.

The first thing I am focusing on is trying to be more positive. I am not really a person who sees the glass half empty - and I’m surely not someone who see’s it half full. I am more likely the person to tell you that it’s the wrong damn glass. I always see that there is a problem to fix – which makes me negative. I want to be more positive. And let me just say this is going to be extremely hard for me to change.

For what it’s worth, I think one of the things that made me a successful Program Manager was the fact that I simply have a knack for anticipating problems and how they are going to have impact. Because I can see them, sometimes before they happen, I am usually pretty good at having a bunch of “downhill solutions” in my back pocket to apply to the situation.

The negative side of this is that - well… I just naturally tend to look at what is wrong with a situation instead of what is good. In a way, this is sort of a judgment – or can feel like a judgment. I don’t perceive it that way… but in fact it is. And I don’t just do it to everyone else either. I am my own best critic. I do this in all areas of my life and I am realizing that this type of self talk isn’t always healthy. I think the problem is not that I do this — but how much I do it. So I am going to try to fix it. I am going to work on reprogramming my brain and attitude.

How am I going to do that? I’m not completely sure yet but I have several ideas:

1. Keeping a gratitude journal.
2. First thing I say to folks must be positive and make them feel good.
3. When I am doing something “outside my comfort zone” focus on what I am doing right instead of what isn’t going right.
4. Recognize/praise the good in things that aren’t perfect. Recognize that joy doesn’t only come if something is perfect.
5. Smile even when I don’t feel like it.
6. Do random acts of kindness
7. Get back to daily meditation besides what I do with running.
8. Seek balance in everything – being happy with the middle not at the extremes. This will require me to schedule it at first…. Till I learn it.
9. Be physical with my kids everyday.
10. Tell people I care about not just how I think, but how I feel.

So. Yeah. That should keep me busy for awhile.

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