I’ve been dealing with some personal discomfort the past couple weeks that I know I need to have medical intervention. This physical discomfort brought me to my knees with regards to dealing with pain. I realized (after the fact) that I fell right back into using food to soothe me.

As I “piece apart” what happened and how I lost control of my eating yet again, I realize that all my coping skills are not good when used in the extreme. Coping skills really are best used like a narcotic. Used to “dull the pain” but not applied so liberally that they mask everything and risk brining on future problems. The coping skills in and of themselves could easily become a compulsion if not applied in a thoughtful, balanced way. Also, it is better to layer multiple coping skills for real effectiveness then to rely on just one. Using a couple brings better results that tend to last a bit longer. Sort of like layering Motrin and Tylenol when your kid has a fever.

Here are the ways I tend to cope with extreme stress:

1. I detach from whomever or whatever is bothering me. Actually since I have been focusing more on “feeling things” versus just “thinking things” this has been a bit more difficult. Hard to detach when your focus is on feelings.

2. I self medicate with food. Now I find the only time that is really difficult for me to control my eating disorder is when I am physically uncomfortable. Like recently my tooth bothered me and I found myself practicing mindless eating. I didn’t realize it till later but I was trying to self medicate my pain with the glorious carbo rush.

3. I self medicate with sex. Unfortunately for my husband, I don’t practice this one much anymore.

4. I distract myself with drama. I will hyper focus on one part of the problem, or one person and use that as something to distract myself from feeling. Anger is easier for me then emotional pain. I used to be pretty confrontational and create a personal drama. Now I like to think of myself more evolved. I am much more likely to use a “situational drama” versus a personal drama as a distraction. For example, instead of being angry at my friend, I will hyper focus on how my mom isn’t taking care of herself and try to focus on fixes for that ‘problem’ instead of the person.

5. I self mediate with purchasing. Ahhh the wonder of retail therapy. I still do this. I love the rush of buying things. I got this one under control after the birth of our daughter and I climbed out of debt. But I find myself even

6. I will clear my head with exercise. I tend now to like running best. I can think about a problem and search out metaphors for solving things during my runs. I also love doing mindless cardio too to lessen anxiety.

7. I will resort to an OCD type project. Like cleaning out the closet or junk drawer. Or cleaning my house. This is something that I will do when I am especially upset about something that is completely outside my control: like death or someone in the hospital.

8. Escapism. I will withdraw from everyone and simply escape. I will cocoon myself in my sanctuary, or I will practice a more literal escape mechanism like reading or going to the movies. When I am in pain I do not usually have the emotional fortitude to explain it to someone or reach out.

9. I will meditate and pray. I don’t practice this one as much as I should. In a throw back to my Christian upbringing, I can hear echoes of my pastor telling me how God is actually more impressed when we pray when it’s not so easy… ie. When we don’t need something. So since I’m not praying enough simply for his glory… I feel a bit guilty praying when I want something. And my daily meditation practice hasn’t been happening as of late.

10. Talking to friends. Actually this one is a bit hard for me too. When I am needy, I am just not good asking for help. I am much more likely to simply detach and deal with it myself. However when this does happen, I usually do feel a bit better – especially if I can fully engage and not be worried about how the other person is taking in the info.

Anyone else have any good coping skills for dealing with stress?

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