My Tri Training Report. Focusing not just on what I did… but how I felt :)

The sweetest moment:
My friends and I went and saw the course last week. It was…. well… intimidating. I think it really made me feel afraid. Sorta like… OMG, what have I done? I expressed at our dinner table that night how afraid I was. I actually sort of got teary. (hormones?) Anyway — my kids were shocked to see my fear and vulnerability I guess. My daughter Emma was like “Mom… you will do fantastic don’t worry!” Everyone was very supportive and encouraging. We also had a long talk about how I felt like quitting and giving up — and that was an option of course — but I was going to push through and face my fear. Sometimes it’s ok to be afraid and let those who love you help you. Asking for help and support have never been easy for me!!

My biggest emotional struggle is that I want to tell the world “please don’t expect much from me…. I have never done this before.” This being anything athletic. Ever. Seriously. I want to wear a big sign on me that says “I used to weigh 360 lbs so that is why I am moving so slow!” It’s hard for me to give up the comfort of that in my identity. I don’t want to be judged by the metric of a normal person…. I want to be judged as a fat girl. I’m way more comfortable there! LOL

My biggest physical struggle/worry is: How am I going to manage that hill after I am so depleted and I don’t want to walk. How do I train for that? I can’t run hills now when I’m NOT tired. LOL

This is what I did this week:
Sunday: Run: 3 miles
Tuesday: Run 3 miles
Wednesday Swimming 22 or 24 laps
Thursday Run 2.9 miles
Saturday: Run 3.15 (big assed hill run with kids riding their bikes.)

Most proud moment: Today I ran my first mile and quarter and stayed under a 12:30 pace!!!

How I feel overall: Feel really pretty proud of myself. Was hard on myself about not being able to do the full 32 laps…but honestly, I think I’m right on track. I feel afraid of what is in front of me, but it’s getting better each day. I felt joyful today running while my kids rode their bikes. I felt really happy that we were doing that together. Feel like my body has finally gotten to the point where a 12 mile week doesn’t exhaust me. It really took me months to get here. I am a bit worried about how long it takes me to get to a point where what others see as normal activity just exhausts me. I know other people might think I’m over investing too soon… but for me… I prefer to have lots of time to learn something and get my body used it. I don’t need to be last minute for the motivation. I’d rather do the work earlier and enjoy the ride at the end.

Goals for next week:
Get in the pool twice.
Be able to swim 100 meter sets with 30 sec rest breaks full 32 laps
Join Pool Club
Do two speed work runs where I decide the pace and do intervals to pick up my speed (I’d like to get to 12 minute miles)
Buy Bike (Monday probably?)
Take my kids for a bike ride (they are so excited mommy is buying a bike!)

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