So here I am. 6 years out from my amazing weight loss surgery the Duodenal Switch. I’d like to tell you that nothing much has changed but truth is, everything has changed. For the better. I am a completely different person then I was 6 years ago as I walked into that operating room wondering if I would live through the surgery.

First, let me cover all the post op details for my fellow duodenal switch sisters and brothers. My weight is completely stable and bounces in a ten pound range. I am healthy. My cholesterol is around 100. My blood pressure is 110 over 65. My resting pulse rate is about 53. I am no longer diabetic. I can walk long distances without pain. I can move my body. I do not define success by the fact that I lost 160 lbs but rather that I have kept it off. As far as surgery side effects, I really don’t have any unless I eat a ton of white flour. Everything pretty much stablizes after year five.

The bad news is that I do struggle with anemia and being deficient in some vitamins and minerals due to my surgery. I have to take prescription Vitamin D. I often feel tired because either my iron stores are low or I don’t have enough red blood cells. (I struggle with several different types of anemia). But honestly, compared to the diabetes and the co morbidities I was facing fat – it’s a welcome change.

The biggest change in me though is that I no longer use food to soothe me. Although I will always have emotional eating tendencies, I no longer immerse myself in food. I love myself so much, that I only feed myself really good food. My tastes have changed dramaticly. In fact, it’s hard to me to articulate if I have changed emotionally or if my tastes changed so much that I no longer crave the crap I was eating. Honestly… the thought of fast food now doesn’t appeal to me in the least. Talk to me about eating a 5 course meal prepared with fresh seafood, veggies and grains – by a chef – and I will become exicted!

Now when I eat… I eat with intention. I savor. I am no longer sitting down with a bag of chips and mindlessly eating one after another. I am now much more likely to take a handful, bake them up with artichokes, cheese and tomatoes – and then pour some gourmet salsa on them with sour cream. And really enjoy them! They aren’t masking anything other then pure love I have for creative food!

I am no longer the fat girl mentally either. I don’t see myself as fat anymore. There are only rare occurances when I think “I can’t do that physically because I’m fat” and then I remember: Oh wait.. you aren’t anymore! I think I think of food fairly normally. I eat desserts, bacon, red meat – but I also now really enjoy fresh veggies, only tend to eat whole grains, and avoid high fructose corn syrup.

I also enjoy exercise now. I have spent the last two years on a journey to learn how exercise really can make you feel. Low and behold – the key to exercise was not that doing it will create some logical caloric deficiency – but rather how it makes you FEEL. I went through a period of time when I really ‘binged’ on exercise and it became like the new drug. Now I feel much more balanced. I know what it can do for my body and I listen to my body. I know I take longer to recover and I know what feeling fit feels like. And I realize how exercise is one of the building blocks to being a healthy and whole person.

The next step on my journey is that I am learning to love my body and not be so mentally abusive with myself. So help me God — this is what i am going to master in the next couple years. I am letting go of the negative self talk for not being perfect. Now I can appreciate and feel confident that I am simply on a path – and perfection isnot the quest. It’s actually the imperfections that give character to the person I am today. I appreciate their gifts. I can appreciate where I am now on my journey and not feel less than perfect because of it.

Amazingly, I don’t have any other physical goals other than to just be healthy. (amazing! no goals!) That has to be a true testament to my emotional change. The vanity that swelled up when I lost the weight has succumbed to a peaceful acceptance of who I am. No self hatred. Nothing really I am striving to improve. I am peaceful and my Yoga practice is bringing me balance both physically and spiritually. I feel immense gratitude these days for the life I have and the body I have been given. How many 40 year olds can say that they have a better, stronger and healthier body then they did when they were 20?

6 years, 160 lbs still gone. Funny though that I no longer want to define this process by what I lost (160 lbs) but rather by what I gained. A new more balanced me.

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