Extraordinary Mundane

We are finally on the “upswing” here health wise. What sweet relief! The weather lifted a bit today too and the sunshine sort of is reflecting the lighter sides of my mood.

I took the kids to go see Bridge to Terabithia this afternoon. It was a great movie. It really touched me and reminded me what childhood was like for me. This would be the childhood I had before I was raped. The movie reminded me of the innocence before I had to live in the shadow of brutality and ongoing mental torture. It’s funny how we forget the good and focus on the bad. Why is it that the bad is so much more memorable?

This movie made me remember the childhood when I used my imagination to soothe me instead of self medicating myself with food. The childhood when I used secret places to escape into instead of spending my time simply trying to escape secrets. The childhood I knew before I knew what loss was and abandonment… when I realized that friendship was going to be more of a pillar of strength for me then parental support. It reminded me of the childhood when I made every problem into an adventure to be shared with my friend. The movie was my bridge to the Terabithia of my childhood that were dusty in the corners of my mind. It was sweet to access them again.

Several people have commented that the movie is too much of a downer for kids. But I think it’s a powerful movie with a strong message that loss doesn’t have to suck you under. As a parent, I want my children to see that modeled in many different ways – in our daily life, in movies, in literature and what have you. I want them to know that resilience is the gift that comes from recognizing that loving can help to make you whole – even after loss. I don’t think avoiding dealing with those feelings when children watch this movie is a good strategy. For this reason, I happen to think it’s a great family movie. Especially for kids over the age of 5 who can grasp the permanence of death. And of course, there are so many other “minor lessons” interspersed in the movie… there are just many opportunities to walk away enriched.

Did my 6 year old get the lessons I hoped from the movie? No. He came away with the idea of “co-imagining places” and girls can beat boys at running. We’ll take that. Did my 8 year old get these things from the movie? No. She came away with that you don’t swing on old ropes and in your imagination sometimes your enemies can be your friend. Not bad for eight. Did my almost 10 year old grasp the same complexities as me? She came away with the idea that your imagination is powerful and to be more tolerant of people you don’t like. Score a few points for the eldest. All in all, I’m pretty impressed. I think the kids insights are just as powerful as the 39 year olds insights.

Did anyone see Extreme Home Makeover tonight or last night? It’s the one where they are in LA and they are renovating a house for a woman who lost her husband and her eldest son in a car crash? Did anyone else get the feeling that Ty liked this woman more then the average homeowner?

Seemed like there was some attraction there…. Extra touches, closer hugs, more eye contact, smaller personal space bubbles… I dunno. Maybe I’m crazy. Anyone else pick up on it?

So last night I watched two movies. I was curled up on my couch with a quilt, drinking my white tea, box of tissues beside me and a roaring fire to keep me company. If I didn’t feel like I had breathed in radiation poisoning, and my body was dying a slow painful death — it might have been really pleasant.

Anyway… I watched Bridget Jones Diary II. Cute flick, albeit a bit predictable. But you know, most good chick flicks are predictible. They are little visual relationship “what if” problems. And sometimes you are in the mood for something where you know all the answers. But sometimes, you want to be challenged. Bridget was the easy test and Closer was the challenge.

I love defining moments. In the Bridget movie, the moment was when Bridget composes herself in the bathroom to contemplate her choice before she goes for a romp with Hugh Grant. When I saw this moment, I silently cheered. She was going to make the right choice in spite of the sexually charged circumstances. You don’t see that too often in the movies. And let’s face it; it would be a bit hard to turn down Hugh Grant. But no, the opportunity for self awareness is lost in favor of predictability. She comes out of the bathroom and gets sucked in… letting her humanness pull her under the riptide of emotional neediness and passion. So it feels very anticlimactic for me that she does eventually make the right choice. Why? Because some Thai prostitute knocks on the door and she has a moment of clarity about Hugh?! Why couldn’t the moment of clarity come in the bathroom about herself and what she WANTED? Why couldn’t they have made it a moment where she experiences a little growth? No, they waste the moment with her simply realizing that HE is a jerk. The defining moment was just a bit too simplistic. Wasn’t elegant simple either… it was just flat.

Then I watched my favorite movie of last year. Closer. I do love the characters in this movie. They are complex. They are not predictable. They are manipulative. They keep you guessing. I truthfully can’t even boil down all the undercurrents in a blog post. I hope that just talking about it a little bit will make you want to go watch it. It’s really a masterfully done characterization movie.

An example of the unpredibability is that you start watching this movie thinking that the main “complex” characters are going to be Law and Roberts. They are the stars, but they turn out to feel more like pawns. It’s in the supporting roles where one finds depth in the darkness of relationships and human sexuality.

Portman, comes across at first as young, naïve and emotionally needy. Turns out she’s not as needy as she appears. There is strength there. She’s only showing you what she wants you to see – and naïve people aren’t that compartmentalized are they? By the end of the movie you are amazed at the inner strength she posses in hiding her truth. The whole movie is really about her finding truth and making the lies her reality. By the end of the movie, when she decides that she can’t tell the truth and she can no longer lie… you feel a sense of profound sadness. That somehow, if she could just make a choice either way… she might be happier. Like real life, detachment can make you feel strong at the time, but is ultimately unsatisfying.

Owens character seems simply like a sexually addicted male. No depth. No understanding of human motivations or relationships. It’s all about the sex. It’s not till the end when you realize that Owens has made his choices not because of the sex, but rather because he completely understands human responses to sex that you realize what a manipulative master he truly is.

And now I have to figure out what I am going to watch this afternoon. At least my little movie reviews are better reading then me bitching about how horrible I feel.

I have a new guilty pleasure. It involves two men. They are both doctors. They both are exciting and make me think about naughty things. They are both gorgeous. Yes, this is a two at once kind of thing. Life is so sweet sometimes. I am sure you want to hear all the details.

Yes they are good looking but it’s more then that. Oh sure, I’m a fan of a hard body as much as the next girl but folks who know me know that it’s not the physical that tends to attract me. Physical is just icing. I love the cake. It’s the exploration of human psyche that tends to do it for me and these two keep me guessing. Yes, I am one of those rare women attracted more by personality then looks. I just didn’t want you think I’m only in this for the eye candy. I’m not. It’s deeper then that. I mean really – do you really think I’m that shallow?

But you are probably thinking… who cares! Get back to the details woman! Ok Ok. You are not very patient. So let’s talk cake.

One is a bad boy. A sex addict. A narcissist. And my, oh my, he has every right to be one. He looks like he comes straight from the pages of GQ. (Sorry, it’s just the icing is so exquisite, it really did deserve special mention!) He’s a cliché in every sense of the word. A surgeon. An arrogant plastic surgeon. Pretty boy. Pretty boy who drives Lamborghinis and appreciates luxury. A man who objectifies women. But at least he objectifies women with great boob jobs.

The other man is also a surgeon. He’s more traditional. Married. Two kids. Ambitious but conflicted. Good father. Sensitive and more in touch with his feelings then most guys I know. He is every woman’s “need to be needed” kind of guy. Loves his wife but has a gentle longing that hangs about his neck and flashes needy and love me like a neon sign. He’s supposed to be the “good one” but has just enough character flaws to keep things interesting.

What is this affair (of the mind) you ask? NipTuck. Season 1 is out on DVD. It’s something along the lines of soft-core dramatic vanity porn. It’s engaging. And not just because the first six episodes covered everything from cheerleaders who discover they are lesbians (I thought my husband was going to jump for joy when they actually showed them on the bed feeling each other up in their cheerleading outfits) to a swinging sex club to an illicit affair - or the fact that every episode has some gratuitous hot sex. Lot’s of forbidden on this show. I think that’s part of the appeal. But it’s more in what isn’t as obvious. It’s more in the moments you think… Damn - my life is so boring and now I can recognize its ok to be glad it is!

I’m as engrossed in it as I was in Sex in the City, Sopranos, and Six Feet Under. It’s the perfect escape. I guess other people like it too because it won a Golden Globe this year for Best New Drama. Really, it’s hard to believe this is on regular network TV. It seems like an HBO or Showtime production. But it’s on FX.

You can rent this on Netflix. I’m setting my digital recorder to catch season 2. Season 3 should start soon. I highly recommend it and you too can savor a guilty pleasure that won’t get you in trouble with your spouse.

Which should I watch tonight:

Man on Fire
or
Season 1, Disc 1 of Nip-Tuck?