Extraordinary Mundane

This year we are doing a new take on the whole resolutions shtick. We are instead making a family plan. Not *that* kind of family plan. It’s more like a road map about what what we want to accomplish next year.

I’ve always been the planner in our family. It comes naturally to me. I like to organize, I like having goals and the feeling of accomplishment that comes with achieving them. And even if I can’t make all my goals this year, I believe that just by writing them down, I am that much closer to making them a reality. I give them energy.

By developing a list of goals, I am defining what success looks like. My family and I are working together to bring clarity about what it is we are working towards and letting our values define us.

The thing that has always been lacking, is that my husband hasn’t really been a part of the process. Oh sure, I’ve tried to loop him in, but honestly, his eyes glaze over a bit . Well this year, I was able to get him a bit more engaged when I told him that he could even put down sex goals. LOL I finally realized I just wasn’t talking in a currency that was meaningful to him before. Ha ha!

I’m not going to write out here in my blog all the goals, but I thought some of you might be interested in the subheadings. Many of these are almost like a to do list. On others we spent time together articulating what does the “ideal look like” – what would success mean here — then figured out what steps we needed to take to get there. John and I have goals under most subheads and the kids have goals under some of them.

Marriage
Romance
Spiritual
Financial
Emotional
Security (things like updating wills, creating a disaster plan, buying a new safe, doing an insurance review)
Parenting (where do we need the most work?)
Focused expansion goals for each child (what each child needs to work on)
Children’s social graces
Family values
Attitude
Vacations we want to go on next year
House projects we want to accomplish
Career growth
Fitness Goals
Health Goals (find a new doctor, take vitamins more regularly )
Charity
Relationships
Social
Self Help
Education
Organization
Family Time

• There is no smile like the smile we capture in our annual holiday jammies before present opening.
• I love my tree this year.
• It snowed today! Sure it was wet and didn’t stick, but it was still beautiful and we walked in it!
• Last night we opened the Karaoke machine and sang Christmas Carols.
• Everyone loved their gifts. The highlights were Noah got a digital camera, wii video games and a scooter . Dinara got a keyboard, inline skates and a horse stable . Emma got a Red nano, ds games and knitting stuff.
• John scored on my gifts this year. I got a ring, a beautiful cashmere sweater and a killer fossil watch.
• I got John a camera lens he wanted and a digital picture frame.
• Dinner was prime rib and it was excellent!
• I am highly aware that this is a perfect example of a holiday that I will look back on when I am old and gray and long for it.
• My children have been delightful this year. Everyone was grateful and appreciative. Everyone was just as interested in giving as they were in getting. Everyone showed genuine joy at the gifts others received.

I feel very blessed. Merry Christmas to you and yours!

(Click to embiggen the pics)

Just sat with hubby on our new (yet to be completed so no pics yet) patio. The sky was all lit up with pretty greys, blues and peaches and we were just sort of giddy with our new outdoor living space. Someone close by had cut their lawn and that fresh cut lawn smell was pulling me into blissful memories of childhood summers past. Sprinklers were playing in the background - a summer symphony. We talked for a long time about our day and our plans this week and it felt so good to feel so known by someone. I had a scrumptous ice cream cone and then decided it made me cold. So I warmed myself up with Seattle’s liquid blanket: a sweet creamy cup of decaf. All my senses immersed in the perfect summer evening.

Seattle Summers. I love ‘em.

1. Today I was able to maintain my normal run pace after biking 10 miles. (second brick workout)
2. Glorious spring weather. I love the sun!
3. Got to workout and go out to lunch with my best girlfriend who loves me no matter what and no matter how grumpy I am.
4. My house is all CLEAN.
5. I am gloriously undercommitted this weekend.
6. My landscape architect finally handed off some more detailed plans.
7. I think I found the rock material I want to use.
8. I am proud of the persons my children are becoming.
9. The stock market has been on a tear lately.
10. I have the best spouse who is not only supportive of all my little forays, he also gives incredible massages.

When I was struggling with infertility, one of the things I dreamed about most was a family Christmas with children running around, my mom’s good cooking, lots of music, cold weather, and just lots of together happiness. I had idllyic visions in my head about what it would be like. A warm comfortable home, my parents there, a beautiful tree, lots of tidings of love, comfort and joy.

It’s never happened. Well.. not around Christmas time anyway. We have gone to Florida at Thanksgiving and celebrated early, but I have always missed having my parents here. I wanted to do it right. Show them the joy. Nurture them in my home.

Now my father has Alzheimer’s and there just aren’t going to be many “dream Christmas” opportunities left.

But it’s finally happening….

My mom and dad are coming today for Christmas. I can not wait. I pick them up in an hour.

I know, I know, I probably have it too romanticized in my brain. I’m setting myself up for disappointment. But I can’t help but be excited. This is it. The first time in a decade that my parents will be in my home, with my kids and all of us together on my favorite holiday of the year.

We have wonderful things planned…. Crafts, plays, Christmas outings to the city….

The only thing that mars it — is knowing neighbors close by are suffering in the dark and cold facing days without power. We have several friends who we have given care package too – including loaning our supplies but you feel helpless really. Because. I. Know. How. It. Feels. To. Be. Without. Power. With. Kids!!! And I just so feel for their suffering during this holiday season.

Anyway… not sure how much I will be blogging over the next ten days. So I want to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas.

10 things I am grateful for today

1. A husband who adores me
2. Three healthy and happy children
3. A home that feels like a sanctuary
4. Emotional presence lately
5. A best friend who knows me
6. A supportive community & neighborhood
7. Lots of fantastic memories from the last year
8. The Christmas season is here
9. My new dining room table with Our Fireworks lazy susan
10. Sharing Gratitude with friends

I wish each of you many blessings this year. Happy Thanksgiving!

I am thinking about how I want to design my life going forward. When the kids are in school next year…what exactly do I want to be doing? What brings me joy? So I’m starting a list.

What brings me joy:

Spending time with my family
Deep conversations
Scrapbooking
Novelty - trying new things.
Having a balanced schedule.
Reading
Traveling
Freetime
Being stress free
Growing friendships
Sleeping in.
Music
High thread count sheets
Living a balanced life.
Spending time in my home
Home improvements
Cardio Exercise Highs
Being in the sunshine
Eating a well prepared and healthful meal
Having goals and a plan.
Organization
Clean and well organized home.
Eating out
Listening to the sound of a storm
Massages
Going to the spa and being pampered
The smell of lavender before I fall asleep
Playing with puppies

I am grateful for the two 15 minute miles I ran this morning. I could have NEVER done that before (ever?!) and I did it this morning.

I am grateful that the weather is so beautiful and I am actually taking time to go out and enjoy it with my children.

I am grateful for the pace in which I am currently living my life.

I am grateful for the four women in my life who ground me, offer me advice and help me raise the bar.

I am grateful for several sound investments I made a few months back that have done very well.

I am grateful for my husband who has been really striving to “raise the bar” with regards to his life.

I am grateful for the fact that my home nourishes my spirit and feels like a sanctuary to me.

I am grateful for the fact that I bought a roasted chicken and some side salads yesterday and I don’t need to cook before I go to a scrapbooking party tonight.

I am grateful for the fact that I have the confidence to believe I can fix whatever problem might arise in my life.

I am grateful that I am “present” enough to recognize that my new healthy lifestyle feels good to me and is worth the effort.

There’s been a lot of press lately about the genocide that is happening in Darfur and has been happening in Darfur. I can remember reading about Cambodia, the Holocaust, Rwanda…. and wondering how could that actually happen? How could “they” let that happen? Well now the they is “we”.

Let your government hear your voice. Freedom has a price.

Don’t know what to do? Don’t know how to make a difference? You can sign a petition here. And encourage others to do the same.

Thanks!

Last night Santa left me a present. Me. I guess I’ve been a very good girl!!! My best friend sent me an email and told me that I needed to check my front porch.

On the porch, was a beautifully wrapped gift. A big gift. So like a little kid, I came in and opened it. It was wireless speakers! I have coveted her wireless speakers almost every time I have come to house and she’s been listening to the mp3’s on her computer but the music was playing outside, or in the kitchen or upstairs.

So YAY her! I love presents!!! These are truly a wonderful gift. Not just because they are a bit extravagant (and God knows I love me some luxury), but because it is so me. I love music and music lifts my spirit. It’s great that my friend recognizes what that does for me and gave me a tool to help bring more of that peace into my life. As a funny aside, she wrote me this poem on the card about how I had to be a gracious gift getter and not deny her the joy of giving to me. Note to self: Don’t share wisdom with Shelb that you don’t want fed back to you.

So I’m writing you with my wonderful Christmas carols playing (blaring!) in the background. And you don’t know this… but I’m writing downstairs… and it’s a very good thing!

Thank you for your friendship Shelby. You shine your gentle light on my life and inspire me in so many ways. I am grateful for the gift of your friendship and the blessing you bring into my life more then I can say.

Being present in the moment I was able to savor the following things this weekend:

1. Teaching Emma to chop vegetables.
2. Sorting out the school supplies with my children to take to Meet & Greet tomorrow.
3. A moment of explaining the value of attitude, respect and eye contact to Emma when I think she actually “got it”.
4. A Dinara tickle fest with Sanibel joining in. (Visual: Dinara upside down on my lap, me tickling, the peals of laughter, and Sanibel licking her face and being all excited… much fun!)
5. Practicing reading with Dinara as she a read the postcard from her new teacher. We have a long way to go, but there is progress!
6. Quiet moments alone last night before going to sleep reading a great book by Geneen Roth.
7. Buying the person in the car behind me a latté at Starbucks as a random act of kindness.
8. Shopping for a wonderful dinner tonight of grilled veggies, pear & walnut salad with strawberry vinaigrette, potato salad and BBQ chicken.
9. The nirvana of buying new pillows and organizational stuff at Bed, Bath and Beyond.
10. The realization that I am taking people’s lack of responsibility to volunteerism too personally and I simply have to let go. Freeing in the moments I can do it. Hoping it comes easier with time and practice.

What about you? What moments are you savoring?

Well, today I can cross another item off my “Things to do before I die” list. I got to support a couple in the birth of their child. Chasmyn and her husband Josh, of Purple Goddess, gave me the honor of being present to take pictures during the birth of their gorgeous and glorious son Kiernan. Kiernan arrived into this world at 10:20am weighing 8 lbs, 6 oz and was strong, full of life and absolutely beautiful. Momma and baby (and daddy!) are all doing fine.

There are lots of details I could share of course. I did journal a bit for Chasmyn during the process and I took lots of pictures, but I would much prefer to send you over to her place to take a look! They’ll be up soon. After all, this is her joy and story to tell.

I will say this though. Being present for birth… a birth that isn’t yours… is incredible. What a rush and an honor. I felt like because it wasn’t my child’s birth, or even a family member, that I could be present emotionally in a way I couldn’t for my own. I savored the experience and didn’t allow fear to invade the moment. I just watched and let the emotion well up and overflow. It was truly a gift and a privilege to be present and I am so grateful to them for allowing me the opportunity. It was so beautiful. Chasmyn did such an amazing job and Josh was so nurturing and supportive. It was a lovely experience. Of course, I wasn’t the one enduring the contractions so that made it even better!

The human body is an amazing thing. Welcoming a new being into the world, is both an honor and a privilege. I am so thrilled that they let me share in this joyous occasion. And I highly recommend everyone seek out a way to support someone the birth of their child. It’s a powerful way to shine a light on the glory of love and all that is right with the world. And it’s a significant experience I think everyone should have the opportunity to emotionally savor.

Go wish Chasmyn and Josh warmest Congratulations!!

Thanks John.

You rock. I so appreciate that you did stuff around the house while I’ve been running around this weekend. I love it when we work as a team. I love it when you see things that need to be done and just do them without me having to ask. I was completely shocked that you did all these things:

Cleaned and organized the cupboard over the oven.
Went around the whole house looking for things to put away and did it.
Did one of my most hated chores: cleaned out the fridge and took EVERYTHING out and washed it. Even the bottles and the sticky jelly jars.
Cleaned up the dog pen.
Watched your children a lot.

You made my life easier this weekend. You made me feel taken care of.

Thank you and I love you.

This morning I woke up slowly. I felt the weight of my comforter and snuggled into the envelope of warmth my body had created under my sheets. I love my bed. Honestly, I do. It’s a pure, deep and steadfast love that is speckled with moments of pure lust. I love the bed itself, a four poster canopy plantation bed. I love the color of my room, a soothing cool sage that relaxes me. High thread count sheets reassure me and embrace me. Perfect pillows cradle me. I love that my bed brings me such deep pleasure and my room is such a sanctuary for me. I feel so safe and comforted there. I am grateful for its pure perfection.

As sleep drifted away, my mind was caught between being half a wake, but completely quiet. I thought about things that I normally wouldn’t have time to do in the hectic-ness of daytime. I daydreamed. My eyes were closed to reality but I was engrossed seeing “the movies in my head”, as my kids call it. I drifted in and out of fantasies, memories, and thoughts. I think I would fall back asleep for a few minutes then I would be awake again. I was enjoying the control of those half-asleep dreams.

I was vaguely aware that I could hear my fan blowing. Not because I need the temperature shift but because I like the soothing sound the air makes when it’s going through this machine on high. And I like that it drowns out real life sounds that hurdle me towards the day starting at the too early hour of 6:30am when my son wakes with the sun. I could smell the coffee brewing downstairs. That perfect cup called me out of my 40 minute reverie.

Time to start the day.

Saw this at Wavy Girl’s and thought it would be a good excercise for me. So here is a 100 things that give me pleasure.

1. Totally clean house
2. The sexual art of teasing
3. Totally organized anything
4. Emotional intimacy
5. Clean cologne smells
6. Surprise touches
7. Any cool activity I don’t have to motivate, plan and organize
8. Dark chocolate covered strawberries
9. Sexual spontaneity
10. The smell of fresh mowed grass
11. Full body massages
12. Slow soft “make me want more” kisses
13. Vacuumed floors
14. Deep bathtubs
15. Showers that are so big they don’t have doors
16. Disappearing edge pools
17. Decorating
18. Touches that feel like electric shocks
19. Creating new businesses
20. Intellectual stimulation
21. Orange and pink sunsets
22. Sound of rustling trees
23. Fresh cut flowers
24. Clothes that make me look at least 10 lbs thinner
25. Luxury at a value
26. Oh hell, all luxury brings me pleasure
27. Vacations
28. Practicing lust
29. Day Spas
30. Getting my hair cut
31. Playful flirting
32. Thought provoking questions
33. Sexual fantasies
34. 1000 thread count sheets
35. Sexy lingerie
36. Chick flicks that make you think
37. A stock increasing by more then 30% in a year
38. Kisses from my kids
39. Emma’s laughter
40. Dinara’s snuggles
41. Noah’s smile
42. Morning’s perfect cup of coffee
43. Soul baring conversations
44. King Crab Legs
45. Smell of Lavender
46. Gardena Bushes in Bloom
47. Prime Rib
48. Sweet anticipation (giving and getting!)
49. Warm Sunshine
50. Girls night out
51. Snorkeling
52. Learning something new
53. My dog curled up next to me
54. Steadily increasing S&P
55. Great fitting jeans
56. Maintaining my weight over the last 18 months
57. Making lists
58. Phone calls with my sister
59. Making money
60. Achieving goals
61. Helping others achieve goals
62. Body appreciation after plastic surgery
63. Giving to someone in need
64. Sound of a big storm
65. Mindful silences
66. Baby carrots
67. Exquisite meal cooked by someone else
68. Being motivated by others
69. Finding a song that reflects how I’m feeling
70. Seeing others experience the joy of international adoption
71. Shopping/Splurging
72. Gutter sense of humor in others
73. Improving my surroundings
74. Saving time
75. Hearing my favorite song on the radio
76. Saving money
77. Decluttering
78. Vacationing with friends
79. Free time
80. Childcare
81. Laundry complete
82. People who love to email or instant message versus use the phone
83. Escaping into a good movie or book
84. Finding out my intuition was spot on
85. Doughnuts
86. Being comforted
87. Nordstrom’s
88. Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream
89. Being normal weight
90. Giving pleasure
91. Sound of the ocean surf
92. Sexual instigation
93. Swimming naked
94. Great dream where the feeling holds over to the next day
95. Surprises I have no idea about before hand.
96. Taking risks
97. Horseback riding
98. Learning something new
99. Small dinner parties
100. Flirty instant messenger conversations

I am celebrating the week’s end by putting out there 10 things that made me feel good this week:

1. I cleaned out my silverware drawer. Dumped the crumbs, washed out the silverware bins, made everything neat. It had been driving me crazy and I have to wonder now…why did I wait so long when something so little made me feel so good?
2. Enjoyed a hot shower everyday with no interuptions.
3. Had contact from a friend who found me online who I haven’t heard from in more then 8 years. Didn’t find me from my blog, but still…how cool eh?
4. Spoke to my friend in California who I had been missing terribly and feeling guilty about not talking to. We had a great conversation and I was so glad to finally get time to sit down and touch base.
5. Snuggled with my half asleep daughter, kissing her awake and enjoying the closeness and warmth.
6. Made plans to have coffee with a new friend.
7. Made kick ass dinners all week.
8. Lost 2 lbs.
9. Ate good chocolate. Which makes #8 all the more wonderful!
10. Lived in the moment.

Want to share? What made you feel good this week?

Thanks for all the well wishes for Emma’s leg yesterday. It always amazes me the love and kindness of people in an online community. Haven’t even met most of you, and yet you are there with support. Thanks.

It’s been a difficult year with John’s ruptured appendix, my grandfather’s death, my father’s diagnosis with Alzheimer’s, my mom’s impending amputation, Noah and Emma’s leg fractures and John being out of work for most of the year. And yet in my life I have so much to be thankful for – things that might be easily taken for granted. But only if I don’t stop to reflect.

So, Happy Thanksgiving Everyone! And this holiday always makes me reflective. Reflective on what a good life I have. I have so much to be thankful for this year, even through all the pain.

And so I’ll measure this life by moments instead of days, weeks or seasons. I’ll use my moments to reflect on what is right and good. I’ll spend this holiday season reflecting on all the moments I have to be grateful for and I’ll start today by listing some of them here:

1. 365 cups of perfect coffee
2. More cuddles from people who love me then I can count.
3. 5 people pulled by dolphins
4. 1-week rental of Nintendo Mario Kart and racing all three of my kids at once.
5. 3 hours of snorkeling with my girls.
6. 10 wonderful days with my dad seeming like his “old self” and enjoying my children.
7. Countless days of watching our dog greet my children with licks and tail wagging after they have been gone and seeing the joy on everyone’s faces from the reunion.
8. 8 days of being together with extended family at the Happiest Place on Earth.
9. 14 flashes of recognition as Dinara remembers a new phenome.
10. A handful of “kid date” times alone with each of my kids.
11. 525,600 minutes of having all my family still enjoying this life with me.
12. 8 months of having my house feel like my sanctuary with my new furniture and loving the restorative feeling it provides for me.
13. 2920 hours of sleeping on 1000 thread sateen sheets.
14. 1 last phone call with my grandfather before he passed away.
15. 31,536,000 seconds of not having to go to a job that takes me away from my kids.
16. 1 man whom I can depend on - no matter what.
17. 1 Apple Ipod with over 995 songs to keep me bopping.
18. An online community of about 2-dozen women who have all adopted internationally or are in process to do so and the support and grounding they provide for me.
19. 3 boxes of See’s Chocolate.
20. 12 full months of health insurance coverage.

There are thousands more of course…. We all have them. What the moments you are thankful for and using to measure your life this year? I’d love to see your list!!

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Nothing much has happened really interesting to me in the last 24 hours so I figured I’d take a few moments to reflect on the joy in my life this morning. (And I’m not being sarcastic here for once!)

My new clock radio woke me softly to the sounds of the song 100 Years.

My husband snuggled me.

Dinara gave me an impromptu hug after getting dressed.

Hubby (without prompting!) had made Emma’s lunch for her field trip last night so I didn’t have to do it this morning.

Noah got 2nd place on Mario Cart Grand Prix.

There was enough half and half left for the perfect cup of coffee.

We got the girls to school on time.

The preschool staff came out early to get Noah so I got an extra five minutes.

My house is blissful quiet and peaceful.

My dog curled up on my feet to go to sleep and is keeping my toes toasty while writing this post.